BatBrian!
BatBrian's vital statistics:
Real Name:
Shoe Size:
Most Often Seen: Bumbling around in the dark, tripping, and bumbling attempts to catch not-so-supervillains, all the while dressed in a silly black costume made of spandex.
All across the city of Onaway, people are asking themselves: what posses this self-appointed juggernaut of justice to do the things he does? Why does he hide behind a mask? And what kind of medication is this guy on?
The answers are invariably: who knows, who cares, and probably lots.
Brian 'O Brian inherited a large fortune from his late father. His father is always late, everywhere he goes. He lives in Florida now, which is where old people go to live out the last few years of their life. It's kinda like the fabled Elephant Graveyard.
But I digress…
His father's cheese factories made enough money that Brian 'O Brian has never had to work a day in his life. Which explains why he's a TV talk show host. But Brian was never satisfied with money. He always wanted to run around in spandex and fight villains in strange costumes. So he bought himself a stack of Batman comics and went to work.
Jeeves, his butler and mentor, taught him everything he knows about the martial arts. It's a good thing this isn't everything Jeeves knows about the martial arts, or else he ain't fit to be teaching it. Or even practicing it.
With the help of several million dollars worth of his father's money and a spoon, Brian carved the Briancave out from under his mansion. Which you would think would break some zoning laws or something. Anyway, he filled it to the brim with cardboard cutouts of nifty gadgets, plus a TV and an old recliner. Once he'd acquired the Brianmobile from little Timmy next door (it's a ten-speed bike with a cardboard cutout of a car taped to each side), he knew he was all set.
BatBrian is almost as dangerous to the city of Onaway as the villains are. For the most part, he bungles everything; no job is too easy that this guy can't mess it up. If it wasn't for his partner the Baltimore Oriole, he'd have been killed 9,000,000 times by now (not counting all the times he was almost killed on his show).
The citizens of Onaway can't really rest easy knowing this guy's around. But, at least he's always trying. Very, very trying.
