Drink Burp-O Cola!
The only soft drink that is 100% carbonated!
That's right, folks. BURP-O cola is the world's only 100% carbonated soft drink. That means BURP-O cola has no additives, no preservatives, zero calories and absolutely no sugar or caffeine. In fact, it is probably the healthiest thing you'll ever drink.
How is this all possible? The secret ingredient is air. Yes, that's right, plain, old, ordinary air. It's the only thing we put in BURP-O cola. That's why it has no nasty aftertaste. Just 100% pure carbonated air.
BURP-O cola is the fastest growing fad in the US today. But don't take our word for it-here are some of our satisfied customers here to sing the praises of this marvelous soft drink:
"When my doctor told me I had to cut down on my sugar intake, I thought I'd have to give up soft drinks for good. Then I found out that I could enjoy the same satisfying belch as my friends without suffering the nasty side effects of tooth decay and hair loss. Thanks, BURP-O cola!"
-I. P. Freely
(Note: it has not yet been proven that soft drinks can lead to hair loss. But in today's world, who can take that chance?)
"I recently was in a terrible car wreck. I was told I would never belch again. Thanks to BURP-O cola, I have regained this important bodily function."
-Mya Buttreeks
"Thanks to BURP-O cola, I'm the Hick County Belchin' Champion four years runnin'!"
-Ima Bigg Hik
And these are just some of the dozens of testimonials we get every year! Again, these are actual people and not just paid actors who we've hired to convince you that our product is safe, despite rumors and scientific studies that say otherwise!
So remember, folks…next time you're reaching for a cool refreshing beverage, reach for BURP-O cola!
BURP-O cola…it's belchtastic!
BURP-O cola is a division of Criminal Negligence, Inc.
Children, the elderly, pets, or those with heart conditions should not drink BURP-O cola due to the risk of serious injury and/or death.
Okay, if you're done with this ad, why don't you return to someplace where I haven't sold out quite yet (at least not much) like…
-Or-
